Category: opinions (big book of)
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Valentine’s Day Wet Blanket
Yes, today is Valentine’s Day, as you may have noticed from the obnoxious month-long “Every Kiss Begins with Kay” commercials. (Know what else begins with K? Kick to the kidneys. Knock out to the kisser. Knee to the gonads. So congratulations, ad man, you get paid this month, courtesy of Sesame Street brought to you…
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(Some of the) Laws in Virginia are Bleeping Stupid
Ugh, so apparently we have to move. It’s all very unfortunate because we love our little house, and our adorable neighborhood and we live just a block from Trader Joe’s, which has always been my main aspiration in life. And, I’ve just figured out where to stand on my neighborhood metro platform to place myself…
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Kwame Harris and I Agree: Soy Sauce is Dangerous
I know from personal experience that soy sauce can ruin walls. And I know from personal experience that soy sauce can lead to bickering that ruins an otherwise nice evening with your loved ones. Apparently, I’m not the only one to have learned this lesson. According to the San Mateo Daily Journal, a dispute over…
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Lance, Food Fraud, Citi: Things That Have Annoyed Me This Past Week
Blah. That’s how I’ve been feeling the last week or so. Just….blah. I guess I’ve had a case of the blues. The sads. A big, old basket of existential ennui. The icky, cold and miserable weather did not help. I have no get-up-and-go when the weather is this cold. I (mostly) blame the Lance Armstrong…
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Banjo Lovers Need Not Apply
Scene: 7 am on a Friday, getting ready for work. Television is on and tuned to a music video station in the master bedroom. I am in the bathroom putting on makeup. My gangsta-thug-sucka-free-rap-star boyfriend XFE walks into the master bedroom and snorts definitively. Me: What’s up? XFE: Banjo lovers. Me: What? Oh, Mumford & Sons?…
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Now I Understand Where Cruella Deville Was Coming From
(We interrupt our Spain reverie for a very important issue) I recently went coat shopping, which is sounds like it’s no big deal, but of course, for me, was a very, very big debilitating deal. I had to undertake this dreaded exercise because 1) I live in a cold place where I have to wear…
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Ode to a Man on the Metro
Me: Standing in the aisle of a hurtling train You: Comfortably ensconced in a hard plastic seat. I had no reason to notice you in your pilling Old Navy fleece But perhaps your Administrative-Technical-Defense-Marketing Conference 2007 lanyard weighed down with your numerous government-issued identity badges should have tipped me off… You are a very important…
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Next Time, I’m Going Absentee
I feel like something really important happened yesterday and I can’t put my finger on it. What was it? Seems like it was something of national importance….It wasn’t my sister Angie’s birthday — that’s actually today. Happy Birthday, Ang. No, it was something else. It was Election Day! And I voted, of course. I’m pretty…
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A Few Reason Autumn Blows (Including Blowing Leaves)
I know I’m in the minority on this one, but I do not like Fall, also known as the Season of Death and Decay, which precedes the Season of White Hell and Hibernation (snow). Here is a non-exhaustive list of things I hate about Fall (which just means there could be a part two at…
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I’m Now Ready to Take the Bar Exam (That’s the Given at a Bar, Right?)
Well hellllllooo there! Sorry to neglect this little ol’blog here but work has been kicking my butt this week. This image, by the way, is from a yoga blog. That just cracks me up. Anyway, like I was saying, work has been mildly panic-inducing. For one thing, I attended two all-day summit/event/type thingies full of…